The fiancée of late rapper DMX has been struggling with life since the passing.

Desiree Lindstrom appeared on TMZ’s Raquel Harper’s podcast, “It’s Tricky with Raquel Harper,” where she discussed how her life with their son, Exodus, changed.

It appears that Lindstrom continues to grieve the death of Earl Simmons, better known as Dark Man X or simply DMX.

“My life changed so fast,” Desiree told TMZ. “Holidays get lonely … because Earl was my family, but I do have Exodus, and I try to make the best of it, because I know that’s what he would’ve wanted me to do.”

Despite her admission of loneliness, Lindstrom showed her gratitude to everyone who checked on her and Exodus, mainly DMX fans who she said are supportive.

As previously reported on BET, the then 50-year-old rapper succumbed to a massive heart attack on April 9, marking the passing of a global music icon who reached people of all cultures.