Black Women Write Love Letters to Black Children in Response to the Trauma of Racism
In 2020, Black women feared for Black children, so they wrote love letters to them to help them process the trauma of witnessing and experiencing racism.
DEAR NOAH is a curated collection of letters written by Black Women to illustrate what the last two years mean to them, the civil right movements, Black Lives Matter, and what it means to be Black during the pandemic.
Curator of the project Anne-Claire Ahouangonou, said it was a soothing and necessary experience to discuss fears for the future with other Black women.
‘These women were afraid and depleted,’ Anne-Claire mentions
‘All of them were scared for Black children. How can we raise Black children in this world? A large majority of them did not even have children. Some of them did not want children. And yet, they still felt anxious for Black children. How could you find peace in turmoil?’
Anne-Claire intended the letters to be like a journal – a way in which Black Women can process trauma and their emotions.
She also wanted the letter to be an education tool for Black children to feel seen, represented and less scared.
‘I felt that, as a community, we had a duty to remember this time, and a duty to document this time,’ she says. ‘Were we going to be spoken about in history books? Were we going to be a fleeting moment or a defining movement? And again, what would we say to the children?’
Anne-Claire was inspired to create something positive after reading heartbreaking testimonies from Black children in the wake of the murder of George Floyd.
She remembers seeing a post on Instagram where a mother said her seven-year-old son asked her, ‘but why do they hate Black people?’
‘A few days later, in The New York Times, a story told by the mother of an 8-year-old Black boy really pained me. As he was going into the elevator with his face mask on, a lady who had gotten on before him clutched her handbag nervously. The young boy asked his mother, “how am I supposed to protect myself by using a face mask if by doing so people are getting scared of me?”‘ recalls Anne-Claire.
‘I wanted to give him a massive hug. I wished I could have reassured him that he is seen, loved and safe, that he should not be scared even though he has all the reasons to be.’
Anne-Claire says the DEAR NOAH project is a creative time capsule, a cathartic record of our time, and a poignant love gesture to the next generation. The project is a collection of 40 love letters, as well as artwork created during the pandemic.
‘I send these love letters out to the world to help us heal and process what is happening right now,’ says Anne-Claire. ‘It’s a heartfelt wave that I hope will bring us all a lot closer.’
Anne-Claire says that other people’s expectations of them are one of the biggest fears Black Women have to live with today.
‘Black Women are “adultified” from a very young age and with it are expected to behave a certain way,’ she says. ‘Here comes the harmful stereotype of the angry and strong Black Woman – expected not to be too loud or expected to be strong, denying spaces for vulnerability for Black Women.
‘Black Women who want to become mothers are also deeply anxious about the risks linked with childbirth – Black women are still five times more likely to die in pregnancy, childbirth or in the postpartum period, compared to their white counterparts.
‘This fear is followed by a next one: the fear of putting a Black child into the world. Many women participating in DEAR NOAH mentioned it, fearing that their unborn children live through the same type of discrimination they experienced.’
When it comes to the messages that Black children in the UK need to hear, Anne-Claire wants to empower and support them.
‘Black children are confronted with racism early on,’ she says. ‘It is important that Black children’s caretakers do not shy away from conversations about race and racism with children, as they have most likely already encountered the issue.
‘Ignoring the topic can leave them exposed to bias, which in turn can impact their long-term development and wellbeing.
‘Above all, it is critical that Black children in the UK feel supported and empowered – building their sense of worth, confidence and self-esteem from a very young age starting with words of appreciation within family circles. They need to hear that they are worthy of love and opportunities.’
Extracts from the DEAR NOAH love letters
Dear Hugo, Dear Noah
Find what brings you joy, and hold on to the happiness inside. How you feel inside, will shape the world around you. Throughout this year, I have tried to find and keep my joy in everything.
In the midst of the bleakest news, I have celebrated personal wins. Joy and happiness are what have made me put one foot in front of the other this year. Happiness to see both of you growing up so fast and beautifully, happiness for the life we are creating together as a family, happiness when working towards a goal close to my heart, with people I love and admire.
Every time I see a heartbreaking news headline, I am grateful for every little thing I have been able to push forward.
Arlette Ngo Badjeck, Tunis, Tunisia
Dear Luzolo
The movement we’re witnessing this year has taken on an unprecedented scale. The whole world has taken to the streets, measures taken to limit the power of the police, and statues toppled.
I’d be the happiest of all mothers if these changes led to the end of black murders. While I am not so sure of that, I wanted – through this letter – to give you the best possible tools to not just survive, but live as true to yourself as possible even while living through times of distress like we are today.
Whatever the future holds, be sure of one thing: I will always do everything to protect you and my love for you is guaranteed for life.
Abeba Ngwe, Paris, France